Frank King Sr. Robbed? BigChum "Wins" Sandy Shores Despite Turnout Topping 280%

SANDY SHORES, Blaine County — Chumley BigChum has been re-elected as the Mayor of Sandy Shores with 6,083 votes (54%) — a result now under federal scrutiny after the Federal Investigation Bureau (FIB) confirmed it has opened a quick-action investigation into the tabulation.

King, the longtime local favorite, pulled a formidable 3,381 votes (30%) — the kind of number that wins mayoral races in towns that have a working relationship with mathematics. Sandy Shores does not. With a certified population of record of just 4,000 and total turnout clocking in at 281.6%, more ballots were counted than there are living residents, and BigChum's pile happened to be the tallest. "I have been running this town from my porch for forty years," a visibly frustrated King told Weazel News. "I got thirty percent. In a three-way race. And I lost. Somebody explain that to me."

Independent candidate Charles Dickson finished third with 1,800 votes (16%), a stronger-than-expected showing he attributed to voters who "finally asked me about the drainage situation."

An FIB spokesperson, speaking outside the WeazelTech tabulation center, said agents were "moving quickly" and had already secured "several boxes, one filing cabinet, and a suspicious amount of chum." The Bureau declined to name targets but confirmed the probe would examine "how 11,264 people voted in a town of 4,000

WeazelTech Chief Returning Officer Barnaby Chumworth certified the tally under internal procedure TSX-2004, confirming every ballot had been counted "at least once, and in several cases, more than once." Zero ballots were rejected. "We don't do that here," Chumworth said. Asked about the federal investigation, he added: "We welcome the FIB's interest and look forward to certifying their findings as well."

Voters — however many of them there actually were — also decided six ballot measures, each of which coincidentally recorded exactly 11,264 votes, a uniformity the Office said it "notes with satisfaction." The C.O.C.K. Safety Camera Network (17-K) passed in a rout, 10,455 to 809, authorizing countywide surveillance "for the stated purpose of keeping an eye on things." The Property Tax Refund (09-R) and Sheriff's Aerial Patrol Program (31-A) also passed, as did the removal of HPMS Director Mason Bender (45-H) and the all-volunteer, no-training Sandy Shores Volunteer Police Department (84-V). Only the Grand Senora Zoo Land Reversion (59-D) failed.

Document: blaine county CERTIFIED results 2026 07 20 (PDF)x.invalid